dont let grammar or punctuation get in the way of a god story!
good stuff kid!
Matt Turner
@MattyT
Age 32, Male
Student/Writer
Gold Coast, Australia
Joined on 7/19/07
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Comments
Thanks buddy. :3
You know, this was pretty good. At first I was like 'Ugh, another zombie story?', but it turned out to be some good dialogue, good chunking, enjoyable character development (even if a little trite!) and even a little sadness to go along. Nicely done. Work on punctuation, spelling and flow.
Thanks for your feedback, I tried my best not to make it another mindless zombie story.
WOOHOO
Goddamn, You didn't even fucking read it did you?
Fucking awesome dude!
Thanks Luke
I like the fact that it is a classic zombie story, but it doesn't rely on the zombie aspect that much. Instead, it focuses on the human relationships, which gives it much more depth than any horror story.
One aspect you should think about exploring more, if you decide to go back and tweak this story, is the guilt the lead character must be feeling for his mistake and Kurt's death (when he thought the room was clear, but it really wasn't). It just seems like that might be another angle to add.
Thanks for your idea there Timmy. I'm not sure yet if I'm going to persue this story. If I do, then that is certainly an ascpect I will look into.
Sexylegs
My god. This is fantastic! Better than sex!
I do suggest, though, reading through and fixing some minor errors. E.g "With no at my side" should be "With no-one at my side".
Fucking good, though. Looking forward to moar.
MattyT
Yeah I just wacked this one out, so I'll fix the little errors later. Glad you liked it.